This one's on "Up"...sorta.

I promised myself I wouldn't do it again.

I couldn't.

I shouldn't.

It's only a movie.

I couldn't stop the sniffles:

Bless 'em.

This face. Even this face made me sniffle.

But, what really got me was watching Carl watch his and Ellie's house float away into the clouds. He'd finally let go...let go to the memories weighing him down, the belongings tied to him...and the pain he's clung to after Ellie's death.

As I sat there is the darkend living room, with Winny and Vi snuggled into my sides (and Asher in his usual place 3 inches from the TV), the weight of this last week at Covenant was nearly suffocating. This was my last night of babysitting...this morning I already miss them. 

The excitment for this summer with Sacred Road has been replaced with apprehension...yes, it's mostly due to the pressing stresses here before flying out on Saturday. Come next Wednesday I'll be singing a different tune driving across my beloved Washington to White Swan.

I'll have multitudes of kiddos and new friends to love on this summer. But last night, and this morning, my thoughts are only on those I'll be leaving in St. Louis (and of course my west-side WA family). New roommates, classmates, and neighbors turned beloved friends, pastoral professors, and my little flocks of kidlets...the Lord has truely blessed me with a new community this past year.

However, there's no need to cling to a floating house of balloons. :)

"Great is Thy Faithfulness" came to mind this morning, fresh in my memory from singing it to the kiddos to sleep last night. This is my anthem for the rest of the week. May it be yours too.

"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not

As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!"

Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—

"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Edward R. Murrow once said...

..."The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.

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Blog fail. For someone who says they like to write this blog wouldn't be a great indicator of that. But, then again, this is a blog...and who keeps up with their blog promises anyway? People with plenty to say, with an exorbitant amount of time on their hands, devoid of real world obligations...that's who. Well, that's what I tell myself to feel better about my own shortcomings.

For those who have been checking this thing for updates, I really do apologize. Yet one more method of communication I've neglected as of late. E-mail, texting, phone calls, facebook...even snail mail...they are all part of a massive plot to reveal how badly I multi-task communication amongst family and friends. For someone who certainly uses 20,000-30,000 words a day (that's the usual female average, apparently), it would seem fairly simple to express those words through the various means of electronic communication at my fingertips. For a gesticulator, the keyboard is not a valid means of expression...nor is the span of time and distance.

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." Credit that quote to James Earl Jones. Not sure how reliable wisdomquotes.com is in who actually utters these little snippets...but the sentiment behind it is applicable tonight...this semester really. With a thousand ideas...musings...emotions...challenges...passing through my skull these past few month I can say without hesitation I don't know where to begin to truly communicate anything of value.

Words on a page, a cell or computer screen, even a voice on the other line, can be misunderstood or not heard properly for even the most articulate amongst us. Words of comfort...lines of advice...a lovingly sarcastic jab fail in impact without the physical presence within communication. The warmth of human touch, the intimacy of a well-needed hug, the beauty in silence are horribly missed when one only has cheap plastic to type or talk through.

I suppose it's the sign of my post-modern generation to be musing about this...on a cheap plastic computer...cell phone to the right...and logged on to facebook...while typing away at a blog. Oy to the meta squared. I'm squirming...uncomfortable with blaming the post-modern in me and "impersonal" forms of communication...uncomfortable relying on technology, yet secretly I also love this aspect of my generation and use and abuse it with relish.

All this to say that this last week has been a week of re-evaluating my efforts in being a good communicator...and daughter...sister...friend...classmate...student...co-worker...stranger...whatever. Whether it's through the papers I'm tap-tap-tapping out, the silly texts I thoughtlessly compose, a hurried phone conversation, or a quick sentence exchanged rushing through the library I've become incredibly self-aware of my need to sharpen up...and slow down...and lovingly hear...and thoughtfully share...and intentionally care.

What that means for this blog I don't know. Time will only tell if this is meant to become a meaningful form of communicating for me. Until then, learning to be technologically silent, yet intentionally communicative. Isn't some sort of silence golden, after all?

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"See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...we need silence to be able to touch souls." - Mother Teresa