Musings of an intern...

"All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this forever!" This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end." - Peter and Wendy

In quiet moments I've been reading J.M. Barrie's collection on the illusive Pan...in-between prepping meals for nearly 80+ people, collecting crafts for Kid's Club, chalking cement with Totus kids, scratching the bellies of Daisy, Peanut, Cooper, Bobo, and Sweetie, and soaking in these uncharacteristically wet eastern Washington days. All in a day's work.

It has always been a rather saddening opening quote, but since coming to "the Rez" it is even more so. Deep down I have thought of Peter as rather selfish demanding forever-youth in Neverland and dragging the Lost Boys and the Darlings into a world based upon his fear and loathing of grown-ups.. For all intents and purposes I'm one of those grown-ups...and from where I'm standing, adulthood isn't half bad.

But, from Peter's (and to a certain extent Barrie's) perspective adulthood means death. While the Mrs. Darlings of this world desire for sweet delight in their little Wendys, Peter's desire for youth is rooted in his fear for the bitter death of growing up. The root to Peter's fear and hatred of grown-ups is never explicitly given, though I can make a few educated guesses. But, whatever his reasons are, they are quite evenly countered with his second-greatest desire...for a mother. This contradictory mentality is what plagues his nightmares most...to live in freedom but under the loving shadow of a mother. Stuck in this juxtaposition, it is impossible for Peter to grow-up in any manner that is healthy...he needs a mother to survive. Only with a mother can he continue to thrive as the Pan.

Here on the reservation we're surrounded by many Peter's...hurting children begotten by hurting adults and circumstances. Many children without mothers...or fathers...or even a daily hot meal. For a few hours each day we can attempt to fill the void with showing love through bubbles and chalk...a hug...losing at tetherball...or simply "just being." We can be that "mother" they so desperately need. But in truth, that won't be enough. For many here, two really is the beginning of the end.

It's a sobering fact which cannot be avoided. But a comforting, countering fact is this: there is a "mother" to be had for these children. In the end, Peter gets a mother. She's not a conventional mother by any means, but a mother nevertheless. And Peter can continue to be the Pan. (On that note, I'm not quite sure how I feel about that...sometimes I wonder what a grown-up Peter would be like...hm...) Just as Peter can soar through the Neverland sky, so these kids, if only for a few hours on a blustery afternoon, can thrive through their unconventional mothers here on the Rez...their mothers teach Tuesday night Bibles study, blow soapy bubbles in the wind, play kickball, and share snacks...or simply hold them in their slumber on the chalked Totus cement.

And then there is yet another mother...the most unconventional of all: the love of a creating and sacrificial God. We, children and adults alike, can cling to scripture (Isaiah 58 comes to mind) and the promises of the Lord. Ultimately, he alone will feed these children with the love and heritage they need...he alone may be the only "mother" they receive...but it will be enough. It must be enough. Without this love I fear these children may never grow up...

In the short time I've been on the Yakama Reservation with Sacred Road I've been given a glimpse of how the Lord is loving on the naughty Peters...and the sweet Wendys. His goodness and grace are known, even in the most sorrowful of times...and that fact trumps them all...

 

"Mother" Morgan